For some reason lately I’ve been missing the college environment more and more.
The feeling of always having someone around… having someone to sit in the same room with at night doing random things separately (like homework or games)… having someone nearby you can go bother when you’re bored…
Lately I’ve been feeling incredibly lonely. Somehow, it’s not the same having people visit on weekends. There’s no one around in the evening. There’s no one around in the mornings. There’s no comforting sounds of someone else in the shower before class or of someone else tapping away at their keyboard after dinner.
When David was visiting and we made dinner and ate it together and then sat around afterward drawing or sewing, respectively… When Greg was visiting and we sat around at night doing things separately on our computers… Back in college when Keith would play old video games as I sat around playing KoL… Ian would do Ian-things on his computer while I worked on cards…
Things like that are comforting… if just to know that you’re not all by yourself… to be able to look over and see another human.
Failing that… being able to walk up a couple floors to see people and just sit with them watching TV or doing homework… being able to walk 10 minutes to the cluster where you can be surrounded by people you know… being able to head over to one of any number of buildings where there’s always people you know…
I don’t know. I suppose it’s unrealistic to expect to have people around in the same way as in college since post-college life is 9-5 job followed by going home and sleep whereas college is 24-hour-a-day job interspersed with fun with people and sleep at certain intervals. Still, I somehow feel completely wrong in this environment.
I just need to be around people. I don’t care who. I just need someone in a way that’s more than just seeing people at work or having people over for random short periods on weekends.
Rant rant rant I’m so stupid wtf is wrong with me.