Work, day 1

Hm… well, first off, having to take the bus to and from work kinda sucks. I’m working at the Carnegie Learning HQ, which is downtown. I work from 9-5. There are lots of people who also have to go downtown to work from 9-5. Well, damn.
:-\
So yeah, it’s like 15-20 minutes each way, but whatever. It’s a really nice building, and I have my own cubicle.

As far as work goes, today I didn’t do much, but I really did try.
You know how I was so afraid of this job and that I wouldn’t be able to do it? Today really made me feel like that fear was justified.
Spent the first part of the day understanding exactly what it was I have to accomplish this summer, and got a schedule of things.
I understand what I have to do and what the code I write has to do. That part wasn’t hard at all. And we found a method library that, in theory, does exactly what I want.
Then I spent the rest of the day trying to understand how the hell to use the library. And I still don’t understand.
Gaaah.
Tomorrow I might look at it again and then look at other approaches. Dunno.
I really hope I don’t totally fail at this job… :-\

Also have a ton of paperwork I need to do for the job (and a bunch of meetings I need to put in my scheduler and such).
Gaah.
I feel so stressed and it’s only the first day. Just feel kinda lost, maybe. Like I really should know what I’m doing and how to go about it. Having to stress about busses doesn’t help either.
Kinda just want to curl up and cry :-P But meh, that’s okay.

Other PSLC interns living on this floor (the one in the middle is my roommate, Peter)

Um… as far as non-work stuff goes, things have been good. Really good, actually.
The past few nights have made me happy, for more reasons than superficial ones… and not the stupid kind of “OMG ECSTATIC YAY” happiness that I so often feel and that is fleeting… but a deeper kind of happy, where you just feel completely comfortable with yourself and who you are. The kind that isn’t so easy to get rid of (not even by my crappy day today) and that means a lot more to you than just “Oh hey, I’m happy right now.”
I think it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way.
Thank you.</cryptic>

Oh yes, and 8 introduced me to GTO (the anime). I think I’m addicted now.
Damn you. More stuff to distract me when I’m not working.

People should play Student Wars! No one has poked me to teach them how to play yet. I have 5 decks here sitting on my desk. Someone poke me!

I’m exhausted (probably should’ve gone to bed before midnight, given that I had to wake up at 7:30). Maybe I should go buy some dinner and take a nap.

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