I am sitting in the airport. In about an hour I will be in an airplane heading toward California. I will be gone until Saturday evening.
My flight doesn’t get in until around 11 PM California time, which makes it 1 AM Pittsburgh time.
My flight leaves really early on Saturday, meaning I have to get up at 4 AM to make it.
I’m sitting here trying not to think about that.
In the meantime, I am trying to write some kernel code. I made an attempt at a loader that probably does none of the things it’s supposed to. I can’t help but feel incredibly, incredibly lost as far as that class goes… I understand all the concepts and such, but when it comes to actually writing the code, I stare at my blank emacs window and can’t think of what the hell I’m supposed to write. That’s kinda the exact opposite of the thread library, in which I sat down and churned out pages of correct, functional code.
Also, I’m probably a really bad partner, as I’m leaving 8 to get us most of the way toward checkpoint 1 while I sit in luxury in California, staying in a nice hotel and talking to some awesome people who might give me a job. But, even given that, I can’t bring myself to actually get something done on the kernel.
Today I guess I’ve just been feeling really out of it and/or lost. Perhaps it’s just my dislike of flying combined with my guilt as far as OS goes combined with my nervousness of interviewing… but I can’t help but feel like I don’t want all this. I don’t like flying around the US every week and, the entire time, worrying about the work I’m not doing and feeling like I just want to be at home, curled up and either sleeping or hacking at code with 8 there to give me guidance… because god knows I’m not smart enough to figure this stuff out myself.
I suppose this is a necessary part towards the entire “doing a job I enjoy” part of life, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it. We either need to invent teleportation, or companies need to do interviews with teleconferencing, or I should only be applying to local Pittsburgh companies.
Okay, that post was overly emo-riffic. Apologies.
But meh, it’s going to be a lonnngggg couple days.